Day 124...Buffalo soldier! - 28th October

Woke up a little later at 7 am for some breakky. Then we hopped into the van for some game driving!
Lake Nakuru's park is now rivalling Amboseli as the second mos tvisited park after the Mara. Nakuru is a shallow soda lake (like most in the Rift Valley) and was well known for its huge pink flamingo population. You know all the photos of a rhino running through pink flamingoes? Well its here.
However for a number of years the water level has decreased to the point where the huge flamingo population have sought better areas, mainly Lake Bogoria.
Apart from the flat grassland, it is also surrounded by bush, acacia forests and rocky cliffs which support hundreds of birds and animals. THere are no elephant here, but an incredible number of rhinos (both black and white), waterbucks, bufaloes, gazelles, rock dussies, baboons etc.

We hit a family of baboons on our way out and I forced Stanley to stop. He hates baboons so it took all our cajoling to get him to stay. They were pretty cool - not as rude and dirty as the Zimbabwean baboons so that was a bit disappointing. Stanley drove off in relief when we left. He said he loves leopard the best, and hates baboons the most.

Day 123...It began in Africa-ca-ca-ca - 27th October

Woke up, had a mug of hot sweet tea and marvelled over what Mr Elephant got up to last night. Basically he did a big pee right near our tent, and then a big poo right near the toilet block. He must of wandered a bit around the camp last night, and around our tent. How amazing. We went to the toilet block and I did a count of the steps of how far away he was. It was 17 steps. 17 steps from such a massive wild animal! It was so exciting. As we were sitting having tea, I saw a really small animal dart into the bushes near our tent. For a second i thought 'rabbit' (stupid I know) but it was so small, but then I saw it looked like a little antelope. I assumed it was a dik dik as I had never seen one before but read about them in the Wilbure Smith novels. I asked Stanley and he agreed that it was. How cute! A tiny antelope the size of a rabbit. So cute!

We packed up, everything now getting quite dusty and put everything into the van. The shower in the toilet block was ice cold and the equivalent of a tap. We showered yesterday but we didn't today and just jumped into the car. James packed up fairly quickly and it wasn't long before we were driving through Amboseli on our way onwards. On the way out of the camp we waved goodbye to the Masaai and saw old Mr bull elephant eating from a tree not far from camp. We were pretty sure that it was the same guy and man, he was huge!
Stanley tried to take us out another way to be quicker and we got to watch some monkeys for the first time near the game keepers lodge on the far side of the camp. THen we did the equivalent of bush bashing, as I don't think Stanley or James knew too well where we were going as there was a bit of animated conversation in Swahili. The animals seemed a bit more skittish as well as if they didn't expect us out this far. We were far from the water supply so everything was incredibly dusty and dry. We bounced and jostled along while jackals and wildebeest ran and scurried from our path.

We were all pretty sweaty and stinky but I was beginning to understand why the Kenyans on the flight were stinky. WHen you stink, you don't seem to mind other peoples stink. So we all stank together and it was actually pretty cool to notice that.

We left the park and bounced along dusty roads. The landscape was red dotted with blue and green bushes with a blue sky dotted with clouds as far as you could see. The occasional hut would flash past and occasionally we would go through villages where Masaii sat under trees or traded goats and veges. If you stop at a town you have to look in one direction as all the women come up and knock on your window and try and sell you stuff. So if you go there, remember to roll up your window as well!
Although we left early in the morning, we didn't reach Nairobi until lunchtime. We didn't even know we were going back there, such was Stanley's excellent guide skills. But they dropped us off at a cafe with a prepaid lunch while they went and organised some things. I took to opportunity to use the bathroom as I decided not to poo while in camp. Its amazing what you can train your body to do. Also how your standards change. In Europe if we got a bathroom in our bedroom it was luxury! Now, if we have a flushing toilet its luxury! And for some reason the toilets in Kenya don't have seats so you ride bareback alot of the time. But it was better than a dirty drop hole in Amboseli let me tell you! :P
Nathan and I looked like the only white people in town. Definately in the cafe at least. Nathan felt like he stood out like the proverbial but I didn't feel like people were really looking at us at all. We ate some chicken and then got back in the van and drove out of Kenya.

The surrounding area was very different from where we had been. Whilst the landscape was red, it was a light to orange ochre red. Now the air got cooler and the red was a deeper rustier colour, the soil seeming very rich. ANd it was, as this was the area that the Kenyans grow all their coffee and flowers.

We drove along until we were driving past the Rift Valley, with it on our left. The Rift Valley runs through the centre of Kenya and has been established as the 'cradle of humanity' as some human remains - one estimated to be 2 1/2 million years old have been found there. A recent discovery belonging to a six million year old hominid has him as a strong contendor for mans oldest anscestor. The Rift Valley is more a series of valleys than just one. As we crested along the top, it was beautiful to see. The sun was bursting out in rays behind the clouds, then hitting and lighting up several parts of the lakes that dotted along the valley. The land was a rusty red with rich green vegetation. I couldn't help but think that this was one of the places that it all began. How rich in history! We stopped for a few photos, got hassled, Nathan got cranky with Stanley and then we were off again, heading down into the valley. The usual TIA, we didn't arrive out our lodge until 7pm.
Driving to Nakuru we passed a few towns, the last one quite large. We saw a few mosques and lots of people to market. It was a bustling, vibrant town and James ducked out and bought some potatoes. The game park was on the edge of the town, so it didn't take long to get to the lodge. The lodge used to be a white farmers farmhouse, which was then taken over by the Kenyans and turned into a lodge when it became a game park. It was luxury to stay indoors again let me tell you! It was two single beds in our room, complete with mosquito nets hanging over the top. And the shower was warm! (Kind of). The shower room floor was cold and wet and there were clouds upon clouds of mosquitoes in there. YOu could hear them buzzing so loudly in your ears that as you frantically scrubbed in the luke warm water you had to try and protect yourself from bites as well.

After we had washed off the dust and sweat (and I managed to brush my hair finally) we felt all fresh and clean. We wandered into the TV and eating room (wow electricity, that was also a luxury) and met two other couples that were on tour. They had paid for private tours each, and were having the same experience as us but we were paying less. I felt pretty good about my planning skills. hey hey! Dean and Emily were living in Dubai. Emily was Australian and Dean was Canadian. Andy and Doris were from luxemberg. THey were fantastic.

It was a great dinner as we all shared travel stories (both Kenyan and elsewhere). Emily had us in stitches as she managed to do the 'external verbalisation' that americans seem to do. Andy loved diving and told us a scary story from when he was just learning to dive in Asia and got left behind. He was incredibly lucky to get picked up by a passing fishing boat or he'd be dead. Needless to say he punched the guy when he got back to shore. (They guy that left him behind, not the fisherman).

So we spent the night laughing and sharing stories with these couples. It was nice to speak to other people about travels and share stories - and not just with tour guides. I was glad that Emily gave us a warning as they had come from the Mara and there are Masai's who guard the camp there but they weren't told. So they bumped into a guy skulking around in the night! One other girl didn't know and bumped into a guy sitting outside her tent!
Emily also had a spider in her tent and freaked out. A masai came in and hit it with a bone (a BONE mind you) and said 'oh its dead now' but she didn't see the body so she assumed he missed and lied. Both couples had also had the tyres on their vans blow up and thir guide spend hours trying to fix it in the hot sun.

After a few hours of laughing we all headed to bed. Quite a long day.

Day 122...I Dreamed of Africa - 26th October

Before we go any further, let me tell you a bit about Stanley. We had an absolutely magical time in Africa - we saw amazing things and got everything we wanted out of it. The best thing I like as well was that we paid very little for it. The best thing about budget is that if something isn't perfect, you don't care coz you paid buckley's anyway. A lot of people who we spoke to on the trip paid a bit more and they were not pleased. And from what we saw driving around the parks, everyone seemed to have the same standard throughout Kenya (except for the number of people jammed into the vans).

The thing that wasn't so perfect for us was Stanley, which was a great source of amusement. An old guy, lets just say he's a few beers short of a six-pack. Or maybe let’s just say he's incredibly stupid. Despite us telling him over and over again that Australia doesn't have any African animals apart from the crocodile, we'll get asked every day. We'll be cooing over a hippo or something and he'll say "do you have hippo in Australia?" 'NO!' Then the next day...."do you have cheetah in Australia?" "NO!!!!" aaargh!
We got asked if the kangaroo is part of the dog family. A lot of people round the world say 'kangaroo' when they find out you're Australian. I don't think many of them know what it even looks like. Next time I travel, I want to take a small book on Australia, it would be much more fun. I tried to draw a picture of a kangaroo for Stanley, but I think I just confused him more!
Also, there's a hierarchy thing here in Africa, and I thought it wouldn't exist coz it was just the 4 of us. But Stanley eats with us while James watches. Then he eats after us. I hate that and we tried many times to get him to join, but ended up giving up when Stanley started getting humpty and James kept refusing. I wish he would join us though, as James is a bit brighter than Stanley and chattier too. So at least we could be distracted from the slurping and sucking and clucking sounds of Stanley eating. We'll get a meal and be happy 'yay chicken' but then remember that Stanley is going to join us and then it will be 'oh no! chicken!'. We soon gave up caring and would shovel our food down really fast and run away so we wouldn't have to watch or listen to him. haha. But seriously it’s that bad! Coleslaw is the worst for me coz he makes a weird clucking sound. Nathan’s is chicken as the chicken goes up Stanley’s wrists and spreads out all over the table.
Everything about Stanley is done in slomo. Then as a guide? Man its so funny! We'll spot an animal before he does and yell to him that we've seen it. About five minutes later he'll pipe up that he's spotted an animal - and it’s the one we just yelled at him about! Man! It became an ongoing joke with us. We'd yell out 'waterbuck' or whatever, then look at each other and count down with our fingers before he finally says 'waterbuck. Over there, do you see?" ha!
Once at the start of the trip (before I learned not to ask too many questions) I asked idly "what bird is that Stanley?".....and got silence. I looked down to see him frantically looking through a bird book! He's been a guide for 20 years eh.
Unlike Mohamed who gave us a detailed itinerary each day on what was happening, we get nothing from Stanley. Eventually we ask what we're doing the next day (coz we read the very basic itinerary and it said we were going to a certain place). So we’ll ask "what are we doing tomorrow Stanley."
He'd chew dinner slowly, make some clucking and umming sounds before he'd answer: "we are going to Lake Nakuru".
"Yes we know that, but do we leave in the morning/ afternoon? About how long does it take?"
"Uummmm........uuummmmmm" He'd look up into the air, as if trying to find the answer there. "ummmmm" scratch his head, trying to make his brain work. Then he trails off, perhaps hoping that I've forgotten I just asked him a difficult question. Then James will pipe up quietly in the background in Swahili (which I assume is the answer). Then Stanley will say "oh it’s a long drive, we will leave in the morning."
Fabulous! I mean he’s only been doing this same drive for 20 years.

So that’s that. I have gone off on a tangent a bit here. Let us begin our day:

We woke up at 6 am. I was awake earlier in the morning by a hyena making a low cooing call, and the sky was a milky grey. But then I fell asleep again. The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of goats bleating and their bells jangling. I zipped open the tent and was surrounded by goats, with a fully made up Maasai herding them around with a long stick. Cool! We had a cup of tea and bundled ourselves into the van. As we left, it was the funniest sight to see tribal Maasai warriors in full garb, standing around with James having mugs of tea. They run the camp and seem to be friends with James. They don't talk to Stanley much; Stanley's a bit haughty to them. Or it could be the tribal history where the Kikuyu took over and are having it out with the Maasai. Or maybe they just think he's an idiot too. Haha!


We drove into the park and went game driving. The area was very flat and there was dust everywhere. It was really lovely though, lots of earthy reds with the deep blue of the mountain as the backdrop. We saw lots of zebra, ostrich, warthog (remote control bacon – I love them! I kept wanting to make them run for Nathan as he was very amused by them as well), Thompson gazelle, buffalo, wildebeest. We saw one female lion; she must have been hiding babies in the thicket. Then we had our fill of elephant. They came wandering slowly towards our van puffing and blowing. They crossed over the road right in front of us, heading towards the water further in the park. It made for some great shots! Amboseli has heaps of elephant, and it looks great with them and Mt Kilimanjaro in the background. We also saw some hyena in the wet mushy area eating a dead buffalo or something. They were a bit far away – but we did find their babies a bit further on, sleeping by the side of the track. Very cute! We also saw jackal, impala and grants gazelle, as well as hippo.

After the drive we went back and had breakfast. I kept trying to sneak shots of the Maasai wandering around camp by pretending to photograph squirrels. We brushed our teeth at the toilet block and hung around for a bit, then jumped into the van and went to the Maasai village that was nearby. We got taken around by a guy called Alex, a very young guy. The village held about 120 people, about 5 families in all. Alex is the first son of the first wife (his dad has 10 wives) and will be next in line to be chief after his dad. Before we went inside Stanley gave Alex a strong talking to, telling him to show us everything. I think he's not too fond of the Maasai and vice versa. Pretty long blood fued there.

The huts were very different to the ones I saw in Zimbwe. They were like a protective fort - all the huts were around in a circle, with lots of thorns and bracken around the outside to protect from all the big scary wildlife that's around the place. The huts all joined to one another and Alex took us inside his. It was much cooler inside than ouside, and dug a little deeper in the ground to create this effect. You had to duck and almost crawl through the door, and inside it was almost pitch black, with a small smoky fire near a small opening. We sat on dried cow hides which is where they all sleep and he told us about how they lived. The Maasai scorn farming, love their cattle and live on milk and meat and blood. The ladies build the houses and the men graze the cattle and do 'warrior' type things, which I assume is just sitting around coz that's all I see them do. Haha. I had some jokes with Alex and told him its the guys that build the houses back in our country and he looked a little scornfully at Nathan at that. hee hee.
Then the Maasai all gathered together, the women under a tree and the guys nearby and sang for us. It was really cool. The men jumped really high - so cool to see that in real life, and also did this chanting warrior thing, which was just like the bit in The Ghost and The Darkness. They invited us to dance with them, I did a little, and Nathan did as well, but he was a bit out of time! They move really quickly eh!
Then the guys showed us how they make fire without matches, by swivelling sticks and using dried grass, which was fabulous.
The photographic opportunity was just so cool. It was fantastic to see something just like national geographic - women with infants on their hips, little bald children running around the huts and men with brightly coloured robes taking long legged strides.

We'd pretty much seen all we'd come to see, but then we were taken around the back end of the village where they had set up a 'small market' and tried to sell the wares that they had made. Alex walked us through the whole thing, as he had to make sure his people were viewed equally by us etc. One guy kept flitting to each stall, he must have been related to nearly every family and I cracked up laughign at him. I didn't like the pester power too much at the end, but bought two necklaces as I did like them. Nathan got pretty cranky as we'd paid to be there, and can't stand pester power. He bartered with them for the necklaces for me, which was a godsend as I can't do it at all.

Then we all shook hands and thanked them for having us, and drove back to the camp for lunch. Then we sat out the heat of the day, reading and taking photos of squirrels nuts. But it didn't feel like very long before it was time to go on our afternoon drive. Great!
We drove out to 'Oberservation Hill' a small hill that stuck out like a pimple in comparison to Mt Kilimanjaro, but the only high point in the Amboseli park for miles around. Nate and I climbed up the top and enjoyed the fresh air and the time to ourselves. It was good to get a better view of the park. It was brown and dusty all around except for a patch of blue sapphire for the water, fringed by bright green. We could see an elephant wallowing around, and herds of zebras grazing. There were some British tourists up there and it was tempting to talk to them as we hadn't talked to non-tour guides for weeks but we didn't. We walked back down and then did some more bouncing around in the car looking at grazing animals. We saw some more lionesses lying near some thickets but there was no sign of the 'boss man'. Hee hee.

The sun setting was spectacular. Lots of oranges and whites. There were a fair few clouds dotted around, so the sun burst out from behind them via huge rays beaming down onto the flat land, broken up by the odd acacia tree. A perfect African scape. It was beautiful.
We'd seen all there was to see, and were heading back before the park closed. I was staring up at the mountain when Stanley slammed on the breaks and shouted 'look at the male!' For a brief second I wasn't too sure what he meant, and then realised it was wildlife and stared out into the distance. Much to my shock, a massive lion was sauntering right in front of the car! He walked over the road, past our car then promptly sat down next to us for a good old rest. It was perfect! We coo'ed and took heaps of photo's - particularly as he yawned alot, showing razor sharp teeth. I took a close up shot of his nuts, but for some reason the photo didn't turn out.
He ended up not doing too much, and we had to head back to camp or we'd get in trouble. We were very pleased though at this sighting, and with Mt Kilimanjaro in the background it was so lovely.

Stanley says we have been really lucky to see Mt Kilimanjaro. One lady he took out here had flown all the way from America to specifically see Mt Kilimanjaro, but for the 4 days she was here, it was covered in cloud the whole time! We've seen it clear and free, as well as covered in cloud. James says 'it has gone to sleep' as in its pulled its covers up when it is covered in cloud. I like that.

It got cooler that night as the wind comes off the snow off the mountain. James and Stanley were freezing, but Nathan and I were used to colder temperatures so it wasn't too bad. Just a light long sleeve shirt when you go to bed and its fine. We sat around and then had dinner. One thing that is fantastic is Kenyan pineapple. James slices it up for dessert and it is the most juiciest, sweetest pineapple we have ever eaten! We just inhale it. Yum!

I was in a good happy mood feeling great. As the sky got dark before dinner I was standing under a big acacia tree staring at Mt Kilimanjaro, feeling the African dirt under my feet. I had just wandered a bit away and savoured my surroundings. That's what I like about travel. Your senses are heightened as you are somewhere new. So you feel the wind on your skin, and the smells in the air, hearing the sounds of the wildlife and our african guys chattering away at the fire. It was fantastic. Dinner was good - and I was so delighted by the fact that there were hardly any bugs! At all! Prolly coz its the dry season is my guess. We sat and ate dinner while James and his friend George giggled around the fireplace. George is part care-taker here and I think he's quite handsome. He's got a big bald head, finely sculpted nose and wide set eyes which is quite nice. He's Kikuyu as well, but not has humpty as Stanley. He introduced himself to us earlier in the afternoon, leading a little boy by the hand. He introduced himself and the boy, saying he was Masaai and holding his arms up in the air proudly. He also proudly announced that this boy was in school and literate, which is quite an accomplishment in Africa. It was nice to see him and the boy such good friends.

While we were eating we heard the hyena's giggle and gibber. Then James mentioned that the elephant had broken into camp again! I was like 'where!' and they said you could hear him. I walked a bit away from the table and listened - and true enough, you could hear the sound of a very large branch being pulled and broken somewhere out there in the night. It was so exciting!

We kept eating dinner and James was making jokes about hyena's and how they laugh. Also that they can disappear inside an elephant carcass and come out covered in blood and laughing. He did the hyena laugh very well and Nathan and I were laughing along with him. After dinner I went out past the table but couldn't here him anymore. I mentioned him to James and he said óh no, he's over here now' very calmly. I went closer to the fire and sure enough, I could here branches breaking so close by!! They shone torches and only a few metres away (I'd estimate about 60) was a big grey head looming out of the darkness. Our torches were pretty weak and crappy so it shows how close he was. I turned around totally delighted but also scared as well and saw the same look on Nathan's face. He looked pretty shocked and was sort of clutching his chest. It was so wonderful to see that look on his face. It described all the amazing wonderfulness and savagery of Africa. I was so excited to see the elephant so close but was also scared as they are a hell of a lot bigger when you are standing on your own on the ground and not in a car!

James was banging pots and pans to try and scare it away. It didn't care at all, just kept munching and breaking branches (the breaking branches sounded like those adventure or horror movies where you can hear branches breaking in the forest). There was also a moment when we heard him void his bladder - it sounded like a firehose!

We sat around the camp for a bit longer with James making jokes that he was our 'security guard'- the elephant I mean, not James. I asked him what do I do if I need to go to the bathroom during the night. He seemed pretty shocked that I had done it the night before, and simply said 'don't''. Great. I've had fantastic bladder skills all through Europe - sleeping through the night and even delaying it for 5 hours even when I really need to go. But the moment I'm in a tent I turn into a beagle and need to pee all the time. Ironic isn't it?

So we grab our bathroom bag and tippy toe down the sandy path to the toilet block (only after James has assured us that the bull elephant has moved on). So we wet our toothbrushes and before we begin to brush our teeth I grab Nathan and he grabs me. "Do you hear that?" We whisper frantically to each other. And sure enough, as loud as anything we can hear the blowing breathing of an elephant and the 'munch munch' sounds of it eating. I flash my torch around wildly but can't see it anywhere, but know its damn close. Our hearing latches onto its position, which means it is basically behind the bush where we are standing. I flash the torch into the bush but can't see it, but then as my torch travels slowly upwards I can see a big grey skull looming above the bushes. Oh my god! We quickly hide in the toilet block and whisper both excited and frightened. "What do we do~!"
I have an image of Jurassic Park, where the T-Rex breaks into the toilet block and eats the guy off the toilet. Then I have an image of this elephant suddenly getting cranky and doing the same thing. Considering some guy got killed just down the road from our camp and his plaque is there. And in the darkness of night with a several tonne beast eating outside with the capacity to be very cranky - well its ok if your imagination goes a little wild and you expect your head to get ripped off like a lollipop.
I opened the door tentatively and try to record the sounds of him eating. In the dark you can't see him on camera and the wind ruined it a bit but he was just so close. It was so so cool. But that didn't stop us from grabbing our toiletries and running back to our tent to brush our teeth. Smart as we were, we forgot to go to the bathroom, so had to do another scary walk back to go pee!

What an amazing day.

Day 121...Africaaah! oooh uhohohohooo - 25th October

Arrived at 5am on no sleep, and only 4 hours the previous night as well. Suffice to say, we feel rather fucked. Like we're coming down or something. But our bags turned up though!

It was exciting to be back in Africa. We drove through the dark grey morning light, watching the horizon get lighter and lighter. Our pick up guy was very friendly and pointed things out along the way, like their first presidents memorial site etc. Driving through Nairobi - to people just arrived it would look like a poor, large African city. But to us - coming from the dust and chaos of Egypt - Nathan and I were like "luxury" ! The buildings were cleaner, and it seemed alot sharper and smarter. Alot like Harare in Zimbabwe really. A nice city in all.
But very dangerous! Apparently it is more dangerous than Johannesburg and you can't walk outside with any valuables at all. But it felt ok to us. Wouldn't want to do it alone though!

We check in at our hotel = Nathan was so tired, he wrote his name down as Nathan Kay! Yeah, right on!
We got about 3 hours sleep before we went downstairs for breakfast and to start our safari. If only we were able to fly yesterday, we would have been much more rested for our tour! I booked this company as they were cheap as chips, but only did small groups with a maximum of 4. So we were the only two going on this trip. The tour manager met us and gave us a brief (and i mean brief) overview. Not up to Mohameds standards I have to say. Then we met our staff. Basically it was Nathan and I, and our guide and cook. We paid buckley's for the tour as well which is really good. It was much cheaper than the other African tours I researched, but got good raps in Lonely Planet. The main thing I worried about at that price was the car (the animals are no different no matter which company you're with haha) and we ended up getting a van to ourselves and it was no different than any other vehicle we saw throughout the whole trip. So in all we did pretty well. Considering when we went on safari we saw vans jammed full with people - and it was just the 2 of us in ours!

Our guide was Stanley, and old Kikuyu guy. James was a Kisii and looks like a taller version of Gary Coleman. James was our cook. We had to pick a few more supplies up around Nairobi and Nathan pulled some cash out. While he was gone, a mate of Stanleys turned up and they gabbled away in Swahili. I had to restrain my giggles as every time the conversation paused, they would say éh' in a low deep voice. And it would volley back and forth about five times before breaking into conversation again!
We drove out of Nairobi (past Joseph Kenyetta's grave - their first president) and out to Amboseli National Park. It was a long...LONG drive. The scenery was beautiful - very different to Zimbabwe. Coz its on the equator its very dry. There were miles and miles of rolling orange hills dotted with green tufts. And you could see the sky forever. I wanted to watch but as we had no sleep, we slept most of the way (i think it was about an 8 hour drive). The further out we went, the worse the road got. It became full of potholes and about two-thirds in, just turned to dirt and rock. Then we couldn't sleep and had to resort to holding on to dear life! The whole car shook and rattled so loudly.

Amboseli literally means 'dust' and we were coated in great clouds of the stuff. Amboseli is also home to the Maasai people. They herd cattle and don't believe in farming. We were amazed to see them all dressed in traditional garb! This was no tourist show, they actually wander around like that! They trotted around herding goats and cows, riding bikes, sitting under trees all wearing bright red shawls and covered in African jewellery and had big earlobes. At one point, we stopped and bought coal for our campfire off an old Maasai dude: Nathan and I were fascinated by him! The Maasai are sick of being photographed though, so you really have to guerilla shoot them!
The Maasai have a reputation of being fierce warriors and of a proud demeanor. They scorn agriculture and land ownership and live along the Tanzanian border.

Stanley explained to us that Mt Kilimanjaro is actually in Tanzania. but everyone thinks its in Kenya, as thats were all the famous photos are from. In Tanzania, the land slowly rises up to Mt Kilimanjaro so it doesn't stand out at all. From Kenya is the most impressive views. Also, Mt Kilimanjaro means something like 'whats that stuff on top there?' (snow).

We were only a few hundred metres to the Tanzanian border before we made a turn at a town bustling with Maasai and small friendly children waving at us. We waited while Stanley fussed around buying oranges and chatting (we are now officially on 'african time') We would learn to become familiar with this behaviour.

After that we drove towards the park over crazy, heavily potholed and rocky dirt roads. The scenery was incredibly African. Yellow River Acacia trees, acacia bushes, dry desolate scape, a clouded Mt Kilimanjaro in the background. Amboseli used to be a lake, but over hte past few years it has stayed dry. So we drove across the dust, trying not to breathe it all in. It was the first time I understoond what they meant about mirages looking huge. An elephant miles away would be suddenly magnified in the heat of the mirage, and would look up close. It was a really cool effect! I'd always read about it, and now I was seeing it. Cars would get huge then small then huge again. Weird!

A giraffe would lope along in the distance. Near our camp (which was inside the park) was a patch of bright blue water, surrounded by a rich green. We could make out hippos (barely) and there wre wildebeasts, and zebra dotted all over the place. They are strict about staying on the roads here. It makes sense as its all alkaline and if you drive over it, it won't grow back. With the dust and dryness (we came just before the wet season - we'll be lucky if we don't get rained on!) its really easy to spot the animals all bunched together. We saw an elephant as well, but it was very distant! Stanley said that we would see more elephant here (and it sounded like the guy in Zimbabwe explaining about impala, so I was ok with that! haha).

We arrived at our camp which was inside the National Park. It was run by the local Maasai, who live in a village a little way away. Its a community project and colourful Maasai women were washing at a tap when we rocked up. It was just the 4 of us in one section - the camp is widely spaced so you can't see or hear the other campers. There were small wooden shacks with a tent inside and mattresses on the floor. We got a small set of sheets, and a woolly planket. No pillow, so we go tblankets out of Stanleys van, rolled them up and put our towels over the top.

I wandered around a little, just savouring the air and the smells and the landscape. We are surrounded by umbrella acacias and squirrels and birds. Its so fantastic. Perhaps because its dry, but it doesn't smell as spicy and flavoursome as Zimbabwe did. It smells very fresh, and you feel like you are in an incredible amount of space.

James cooked us a simple dinner, but it washealthy with spagetti and steamed cabbage and mixed vegetables. bananas for dessert. After Egypt we were pretty pleased with this, its so good to eat again. We watched the sky go dark as we were surrounded by red dirt and trees and Mt Kilimanjaro looming in the background. We sat at a little wooded bench and ate dinner. Stanley ends up having the table manners of a babboon, and I spent a good 10 minutes staring entraced at a really long piece of cabbage which swung and dangled from his lower lip as he ate and talked. The sky went from ink blue to black and the fire crackled merrily. We heard the gibbering laugh of a hyena which was really close! Its so cool! And it turns out they make 4 different sounds, so all night I was like "whats that?" - "hyena". "Oh and what's that?" - "hyena". haha.

It felt so wonderful to be standing under the african sky. Just the four of us surrounded by all that Africa-ness. Since we'd had bugger all sleep and there's not much to do by gaslight, we went to bed. Being in the national park, lying on the floor in a tent hearing the night sounds of Africa was fantastic.

Day 120...A very bidet experience - 24th October

Only had about 4 hours sleep, but got up so we could eat the inclusive breakfast. They are going to feed us 3 buffet meals today - and boy howdy we're going to get our money's worth!

Did nothing all day, seeing as we had no swimmers to swim in the pool, no spare clothes etc. We didn't sleep either which was strange, just watched TV and hung around. Nathan had some beers and a bath.

Only thing that happened to me that day was a bidet incident. In Egypt, all the toilets have a hose in the wall which you can pull out, turn on, and wash your bum with. But here was a bidet. It was different to the European bidet's which had a tap like faucet which you splash around with. I peered over, and it looked like it came up out of a grill in the middle of it. Curious, I pulled the lever, thinking a 30cm high water fountain would splash up. Wrong! A massive, super force - jet of water came shooting out and hit me directly in the face, and then the ceiling above me! I let out a strangled scream, coughed and spluttered then promptly fell about laughing. Typical! I couldn't believe it. That thing would rip your colon apart!

Had a stressful day and night as I kept trying to call our Kenyan tour company to let them know about the flight change, and the assholes never called back or texted or anything. I finally got him when we were just about to board and it was all ok. phew! (I would later come to learn that it was typical of this company. Oh well, we paid buckleys for them so what do you expect?)

After our inclusive dinner we got shuttled back onto the bus and to the airport. The Kenyan guys (including coach) were still incredibly stinky. That made me cranky. Last night they could have had an excuse. But today - we knew they had shower facilities in their room. So smelling like a bunch of sweaty armpits was not pleasing. I was scared I would have to sit near them, as the smell was so bad I didn't think I would be able to sleep.

We got lucky though. The Kenyan team wasn't near us, and we got put on an Egyptian Air flight. It was an overnight flight, and seeing as we had only 4 hours this morning of sleep, we were looking forward to a nap.

Unfortunately that ended up not happening. THis was the most uncomfortable flight of the whole trip. The seats were so uncomfy and small - even my knees where slammed up against the seat in front of me. And something was wrong with the aircon and it was sooo hot! It was actually quite distressing being unable to cool down. A poor pregnant lady near us was in the emergency landing position, just trying to breathe!

It'll be a miracle if our bags turn up....

Day 119... Hmm Kenyan Airways - 23rd October

Slept all day and watched shit movies while Nathan spent the day with Mohamed getting odd jobs done. We were going to see the step pyramids, but I am still pretty crook. Its really disconcerting when you realise you have no control over your body. I have started to smell 'not like me' while in Egypt, and today my body has been releasing the most rankest farts I have ever experienced. And its from me! I have never, ever, smelt anything like it. When it first happened, I threw up - hence not going to the step pyramids. Fucking lasagna is all I have to say. And I thought it the safest option. Nathan ate it too though, and he's not sick. I just think I can't stomach this country any more. Which is really sad coz I have been enjoying myself. I want to get better so I can go and explore dammit!

So, there I am lying in bed. Nathan went and posted some stuff back home. He got knocked back by Fedex in case our cheap alabaster obelisk was actually real, so he had to find another post office. Drove around some dodgy areas of town, and also through the 'ritzy' area, which he said was still dusty and run down. Downtown Egypt he says, was the closest area toa modern city Egypt could come up with, but it was still crappy and Egyptianised. This surprised us, as we expected something a bit flashier, seeing as there are so many millions of tourists coming here each year. Then he helped Mohamed design a business card et al.

Later in the evening we went to the airport to catch the Kenyan Airways flight to Kenya. We sat there. And sat there. And sat there some more. Finally at 2.30am they decided the plane was broken and shuttled us here and there (and didn't explain anything! We didn't know if we were catching another flight, going to a hotel, going somewhere else...) we finally got some info off a guy who spoke Egyptian andhe explained that we were being sent to a nearby hotel. Everyone was pretty tired and I was sick of smelling the Kenyan football team. - they were so RANK! A really sour sweat smell that had a radius of about 4 metres around each one. We waited outside to get shuffled onto a shuttle bus. A lady had a baby so we stepped back to let her on. Then it was a free for all! I got jostled and elbowed out of the way by a dozen sweaty Kenyans so I had a tantrum, threw my arms about and elbowed my wait out of the crowd. I barked that I was going to wait like a civilised person. Then Nathan and I watched the shuttle bus take off, as we were the only two people who couldn't fit on it. So we had to wait another 1/2 with no explanation before we finally got to our hotel.

It was a Movenpick hotel, and would have been enjoyable apart from the fact that we had no bags so we couldn't brush our teeth, or swim in their pool or anything. Very frustrating. Went to sleep around 4am.

Day 118...Take Mary, Joseph and Flea to Egypt - 22nd October

The train arrived late (surprise) but we had time for a quick shower back at our original hotel before setting off for the day. Mohamed looked much more human, and I was fine and dandy as well.

Whats the first thing that usually comes to mind when Egypt is mentioned? You think of pyramids, and black painted eyes, scarab beetles and the gods of Ra and Isis right? We certainly did. But there are other parts that is soooo important as well. I booked us in with Mohamed for the religion tour, as Egypt is an integral site to Judaism and Christianity. For example - remember Joseph and his dreamcoat? Egypt. Moses leading his people out of Egypt? Mt Sinai (where he got the 10 commandments) is in Egypt as well. You can climb it as well (not where we were, i think its closer to Jordan). And when the Emperor was killing all the first born, Joseph and Mary fled with baby Jesus to....Egypt.

Egypt is so old, that the 'old town' centre, is 7 metres lower than the rest of the city. Over several thousand years, the silt and sediment has built up around the old town. You now have to descend stairs into it. Before we did that though, we visited the Hanging Church (Kineeset al-Muallaqa). A small nile settlement was dated here as far back as 6BC. Romans built a fortress called Babylon in Egypt here in later times.

The Hanging Church (El Muallaqa, Sitt Mariam, St Mary) derives its name from its location on top of the southern tower gate of the old Babylonb fortress (Old, Coptic Cairo) its nave suspended above the passage (Muallaqa translates to 'suspended'). It is the most famous Coptic Christian Church in Cairo. The main body of the current church, with its notable timber wagon-vaulted roof, features a central nave and two narrow aisles separated by eight columns on each side. The famous Hanging Church is referred to the late 4th century beginning of the 5th AD and is considered to be the most Ancient Church in Egypt as attested by the wooden pieces depicting Jesus' entry to Jerusalem, the inscribed date refer to the 5thcentury approximately.

Unfortunatley, it was part of our ‘scaffolding round the world’ tour, and they were undertaking some restorations there. However, it was still open and they were conducting a ceremony inside. We skulked in, watched people at prayer and saw some beautiful old paintings. One was of Constantine and his mother Helene.

Coptic simply means Egyptian, so Coptic really isn’t a form of Christianity per se; it’s just a word that’s been used. Coptic Christianity is a bit like Greek Orthodox in a way, and they have their own pope. A few apparitions of the Virgin Mary have appeared at the Hanging Church.

After that, we walked down into the older part. Narrow cobbled walkways are surrounded by high wall, and then the greater city. We had to step down into this area, under an arch and then enter the city. Christianity has better roots here than in Rome, Nathan and I concurred. The churches were older, simpler and seemed much more dedicated to the goodness of faith, than the lavish Roman crap we saw. It was amazing going to a church – the roots of Christianity and far afar older than anything we’ve seen. Some of the first ever Christian churches. Far out eh!

We went to another church - the Church of Abu Serga was on our left as we continued down the cobblestone street. This church was built in the 4th century over the crypt where Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus hid after they escaped King Herod's persecution and fled to Egypt. The church is very similar in design to the Hanging Church, with its inlaid ivory, ebony, walnut and cedar patterned into crosses and pentagons. It also has three sanctuaries and two side aisles with pillars and a free standing pulpit. It is the oldest church in Cairo, and was rebuilt in the 10th century. The building was probably constructed during the 5th century. It was burned during the fire of Fustat during the reign of Marwan II around 750. It was then restored during the 8th century, and has been rebuilt and restored constantly since medieval times. We saw the crypt – you had to look down into it (not allowed to enter). Its amazing being on the spot of such significance. Things you read in the bible are real places, not just made up imaginary cities or countries.

We weren’t allowed to take photos in this one either, which was frustrating. Mohamed also gave us much more history on this church and the hanging one, but our little brains were so full that I can’t remember it all. It was incredibly fascinating though. Mohamed was full of fantastic info, and completely excited about all religions and respectful of them all too. You couldn’t help but listen in wonder to him, no matter the subject.

We went into a synagogue next. It’s no longer active. When Jerusalem opened up, all the Jewish people left Egypt. I think there’s only less than 80 in Cairo now, out of a population of 19 million (and growing). But the synagogue itself is incredibly old. Ben Ezer's Temple, lying at the end point of church buildings, is reported to have been erected in the 6th or presumably the 9th Century AD. The Ben Ezra Synagogue was originally a Christian church that the Copts had to sell, to the Jews, in 882A.D in order to pay the annual taxes imposed by the Muslim rulers of the time, and therefore Abraham Ben Ezra, who came from Jerusalem during the reign of Ahmed Ibn Tulun, bought the church for the sum of 20,000 dinars.At the back of the temple, there is a very deep well, where the coffers in which Prophet Moses as an infant was placed by his mother, was reportedly found. Apparently there’s a room where people throw gifts into, and is never opened. So there was centuries of stuff in there. A Yankee finally got permission to go in, and disappeared two days later. He was then found selling assorted items to various museums. It is purported that he found an important document that has history-changing information and only the museum people can read it. Ooooh!

After that we popped into the car and drove to the Muhammad Ali Mosque. Though certainly not one of the most ancient mosques in Cairo, nor even one of the most historic, because of its grandeur and its location in the Citadel, the Mosque of Muhammad Ali is the most popular Islamic mosque among tourists. This mosque is also sometimes referred to as the Alabaster Mosque due to its extensive use of that stone on some of the exterior walls and other surfaces. Sometimes it is popularly known as al-qal'a, meaning citadel, and thus confused with the fortress in which it is located. Built between 1830 and 1848, the long time it took to complete this monument may be due to its size, gigantic by Cairos architectural standards. That, combined with its prominent location and its profile of domes flanked by a pair of slender high minarets, contribute to its prestige. In the southwest corner of the sanctuary, within an enclosure richly decorated with bronze openwork, is the magnificent, white marble cenotaph of Muhammad Ali.
Inside are domes so when you yelled, people outside or at the back can hear. There was the niche that faced Mecca. The carpet is original and made from camel hair, and used to be 9 inches thick! It is now almost domestic carpet thin. We took our shoes off and sat on the carpet and had a chat about Islam. I like Islam. I like all religion because the basic principle of it is to try and be a good person. What I don’t like is when religion gets institutional and hypocritical, or extremists – whether they be terrorists or Bible belter fanatics. Mohamed came up with the best theory. Think of religion like a computer. First there was the mainframe, then DOS. It was a bit tricky to hack into, and then Bill Gates created Windows. Now there are many versions of Windows, from XP to 200 to millennium etc. It’s the same thing, but each version is slightly different. People are still accessing the same program. It’s just that some people prefer a certain version, and some people think their version is the best. Jerusalem, Christianity and Islam are all the same, they just vary slightly. It all has to do with interpretation, as well as translation of religious texts.

For example – Jesus. In Judaism, Jesus existed, but he was just a prophet. In Christianity, he was the son of god – and he was god as well. In Islam, he is the son of god, but he is not god himself. He was a virgin birth – son of gods will, but he was made in the same sense that Adam was made straight from god. The crucifixion occurred for the same reasons as Christianity.

Islam has 5 basic tenets, one of which is solid. The others, if you are a modern Muslim are ‘grey areas’. Same as Christianity. I don’t know anyone in Trinity College who actually fasted in lent, but still held true to several strong doctrines – you know?
The first tenet is that there is only one God – Allah. Which is the same as Christianity’s “I am the Lord, your God. You shall have no other gods before me” etc etc.
The other 4? One is Ramadan. Its like lent, where you fast for a certain period. You don’t eat or drink from sunrise to sunset. The reason? Think of yourself like a set of scales. On one side is the physical, the other side is spiritual. When you are eating, drinking, making love etc, the scales tip and get too heavy on the physical side. So Ramadan is like a spiritual ‘reboot’. So you have to try and think more spiritually (like turn the other cheek etc). However, you do tend to get hot tempered when your thirsty, which is why we see some exceptions to the rule and see Egyptians bashing each other with sticks. Haha
Ramadan is also like Lent, in that you fast to think of others who can’t eat or drink. It has grey areas too, with exceptions for travellers, the sick, women on periods etc. In those cases, its don’t do it, or do it as best as you can or at another time.

Charity is a cool thing as well. Unlike westerners who hold big expensive functions etc, they donate closer to home – and silently. While Nate and I were in Egypt, people were poor and we got hassled by salespeople, but we didn’t get hassled by beggars. That’s because they are looked after. If you help your family out financially as a Muslim – you don’t hand the money to them. When you visit them, you place it somewhere that they can find it later, when you’re gone. Its nice that way – no traps for vanity!

Another tenet is prayer times. 5 times a day (if you can). If you can’t, that’s ok, just work around it. That’s why Nathan and I saw shops open all the time, without shutting down.
Another tenet is the pilgrimage. If you can, get there once in your life. Its like a spiritual reboot.
The last tenet is to believe in the prophets – Moses, Jesus, Abraham etc. Mohamed is the last prophet. That’s simple enough.

What about the women with headscarfs? All three religions – Judaism, Christianity, Islam = they all say to cover your hair. Orthodox Jews cover their hair. Nuns cover their hair. Muslim women are the same. If they want to cover their face for their husband – it should be their choice, not forced upon them. That’s where the extreme comes into play. The mistreatment of women is a misinterpretation as well.

I thought the Koran wasn’t allowed to be translated (it kind of isn’t) but it’s mainly because it’s unable to. That’s what is so dangerous and tricky about it. The Arabic language is very difficult in terms of translation. One word can have 40 meanings, depending on expression, and the context of the sentence. For a bad example: That woman is white.
That could mean: She is Caucasian, she is pretty, she is white =sickly looking, white=scared. Get it?
That’s why some Muslims are fucked – coz the meaning is misinterpreted. It’s the same with extreme Christians who shove the bible into your chest and rant at you. If you know the bible well enough, you can rant back an argument that’s just as justified – it all depends on how far you take it doesn’t it?

Islam is one of the biggest religions in the world. The small few we met on our travels (all the way to Malaysia etc) they were all lovely. And a massive proportion of the world is not blowing people up. It’s a minority that spoil it. I just think of the Cathars in France, and the proof of the Catholics mass murdering them. Or of Hitler trying to create a nice race of blonde haired, blue eyed Christians. So it works out really = we’re all fucked.

Feeling fond of religion in general, we left the mosque and went to the Khan-al-Khalili bazaar. Tacky souvenirs, gold and silver, perfume, spices, etc. Mohamed left us to explore, so Nate and I had some lunch. The service was that long, that it took over an hour to get a sandwich (kind of – it’s more a pitabread minced meat thing), so we had to head back. We saw enough on the way anyway with narrow laneways, got hassled etc. I wasn’t in the mood to buy another shirt and get hassled to give a kiss either.

After that, we drove home. On the way, we passed the City of the Dead (northern cemetery). There are graves there since the 1300’s. They were built with a room for the family when they came to visit, and now the poor live in there. The families of the deceased still visit too, so the place is quite lively. Cenotaphs serve as tables, and washing is strung between stones. The government installed running water, and electricity there as well. Amazing! We didn’t go in, but I peered intensely at it. The place looked like a sand coloured intriguing jumble.

Also on the way home, we passed a waterway filled with rubbish (there is rubbish piled high on all streets in Egypt). Kids were swimming in it, and taking their horses in there to cool down. In the background, a man rode his camel into a side street. But further up the stream, a big bloated horse was on the back of the river, with a grinning dog taking a chunk out of its ass. What’s worse – further upstream again, were several bloated dead horses in the water, pushed up against a bridge! Ew! And these kids were swimming downstream from them.

We rested in the hotel, and I ended up struggling with a massive headache. I am also struggling with what to eat, since I lost my appetite at Edfu. We ordered lasagne which ended up being a horrible tasting white mealy, Arabic mince crap which I could hardly eat. I poked at it, hungry but nauseous at the taste. My head was so sore as well. I couldn’t find any good painkillers at the pharmacy, and I was just so sick of being sick that I had a little cry. After fainting, sore kidneys, the shits, then the vomits – a headache was the last straw. There was no way I wanted to go home, but I wanted to go out and have fun, not be bedridden. Nathan was a big sweetheart and cuddled and patted me till I wasn’t so sad.

Day 117...Book of the Dead -21st October

No more`mummy tummy` but feel like shit. Got up at 5am and had an early breakky before catching a boat over to the West Bank.

In ancient times, the people of Egypt only populated the east bank - the city of the living. The west bank (where the sun sets - where Ra goes in his sun boat) was for the city of the dead. Now Egypt has people on both sides, but if you want mummies? - West you must go!

A man with our donkeys was waiting for us. I thought the Valley of the Kings would be close to the river, but it is actually far back in the hills, so we went via donkey. It was an hour long donkey ride, up into the valley. The donkeys were so cute! Mohamed didn`t join us, but warned us they were stubborn and randy - so I was worried. Especially when Nathan got the one the guides have all nicknamed `wanker`. haha! I also remember an aquaintance telling us when he went on an Egytian donkey ride. His donkey tried to either shag or fight every other donkey, then ended up kicking him off and running into a field where he had to chase it for half an hour.

My donkey was called Homar and I liked him very much. They ended up being good little beasts. You had to kiss 4 times and say (I cant spell) `yella yella` which means in Arabic `lets go`. They had been trained (or beaten) well, and they set off trotting and knew where to go. What a bumpy ride!!! You couldnt swing your hips like on a horse, so you got jarred up and down very very fast! There were no stirrups and everytime my butt shifted I thought I would fall off. My donkey took me through a few plants and once up Nathans donkeys arse, but most of the time they just trotted frantically while we held on for grim life! (Girls and fat men: sports bra definately needed)

We saw some groovy stuff. Egyptian buildings framed by papyrus and palms. On a little farm lane we were passed by a cart which was weaving all over the road. It was drawn by two donkeys and driven by two tiny children. There was no way you could take a picture though. If I even considered taking a shot I would have fallen off!

The towns bled away and we trotted up into sandy, rocky hills and valleys with only the donkeys soft clupping hooves to be heard. (And also the roar of the occasional tour bus - we were certain one would hit us on a blind corner). After an hour of repetitive jarring my thights hurt from holding on and my back was jolted out of place. But we got there in once piece and I wanted to hug my little donkey and take him home. They`re so cute with their big ears.

We met Mohamed, got our tickets and went on a little tourist train which took us further into the valley about 250m.　Mohamed had a cold and no voice, so we used hand signals till he gave us a little speech on the tombs. People think that the pharaohs stopped doing Pyramids coz they were a beacon for theives an dhid them in the desert instead. Around us didn`t even look like tombs. Just hills, with a few modern concrete shafts added for archeologists. Very non descript. The first tomb we went to was Ramses I. You cant take pictures inside which sucked. We thought we`d have to do some scrambling through shafts, like at Giza, but here the shafts were hgue and you could just walk in. Ramses I shaft wasnt decorated, but the chamber was richly decorated with a big stone sarcophagi sitting in the middle - so large it went over our heads! The walls were of excellent quality with Osiris, Anubis etc. The paintwork was so colourful, and when you looked up close you could see the brushworks - that was eerie! It was weird seeing the colour too - knowing that it was all over the temples and stuff as well. In movies and pictures etc, it is always just sand coloured temples. But they were actually very colourful.

The second tomb was much larger (cant remember whose it was though), and all the way along the huge shaft were richly painted reliefs. It was a long shaft, with little square indents with paintings inside. There was also an upper and lower section, but you couldn`t get into the main chamber. The shaft was way cool though. The skyw as painted a rich - almost navy - blue, with stars all over it.
The last tomb, Ramses VI had a shorter shaft and a huge chamber. It has been open since forever and a day, and people used to hide in here during the wars. You could see their grafitti on there. The roof of the shaft spun us out. Black heiroglyphics with yellow oval background - it reminded us of traffic signals, and didn:t seem egyptiany at all! The roof of thechamber had the goddess Nut (pronounced noot). She swallows the sun (and the sun boat and the god R) every night, which then travels down through her belly where she gives birth every morning. Tough stuff.
Tutankahmens tomb was next door, but we didn`t go in as its not that good. (remember - he died young an dhad hasty russion-doll type coffins instead). We went via van back to the Nile, via the Collossi of Memnon. They are two huge statues, built by Amenhotep II. They were pretty impressive, but kind of odd too as they were right next to a road and parking lot!

We caught the boat back over to the east bank. Mohamed was feeling pretty unwell, and stuck his head in the Nile! I was starting to feel pretty crappy as well. Not unwell, but my stomach really hurt, like someone had punched me really hard in the diaphragm.
On the other side, we caught a horse and carriage to Karnak Temple. The horses in Egypt are pretty skinny, as well as the donkeys as there is mostly sand, and the Egyptians are pretty poor and cant feed them. Its sad to see them mistreated.

Karnak Temple is huge. It is one of the oldest, so (not Graeco Roman - tho there are some in parts) there are the columns that aren't in the flower style. It is also a different temple, as it is dedicated solely to the sun god Ra. The temple covers over 5 acres. Basically, when a pharaoh becomes pharaoh, he makes a temple dedicated to the gods and himself. However, they are pretty hard to make, so most of them add a section to an old temple and rededicate it. So this one has been added and altered, and added again spanning millenia. Amazing! Tutankhamen is there, as well as Hatshepsut and her nephew. There was a big obelisk there, and its partner was the one that we saw in Place de la Concorde in Paris! Its so amazing to see history entwine around different parts of the world. Karnak temple was a big messy maze, and the further back you go, the furher back in time you are. I liked it, but it was all open air. There was no roof left, so it didnt have as much of the mystery and charm of the other temples. It was mainly just really big in area. The best part though, was a big hall full of massive columns. It was like something out of lord of the rings (remember when they are in the mines of moria and are running away from the orcs in that huge coloumned hall? like that! But sandy and yellow haha). Nathan loves columns (as I found out in Rome) so had some good fun with photos in there.
Both Mohamed and I had to sit down alot, so we didn't cover too much area. In the photos, you can see I'm all hunched over, as my stomach really felt punched and hurt.
There was a scarab beetle sculpture there. Apparently if you walk around it 3 times clockwise it brings you good luck, 6 times for marriage and 9 times for children. Suffice to say I only walked around 3 times haha!

Mohamed and I looked like crap, and Nate was pretty tired, so we left. We got back into the horse and carriage, picked our bags up at the cruise ship and checked into a hotel. We were to board the sleeper train that night, but the hotel at least gave us somewhere to rest for the day. Checking in, the pain in my abs was too much. So I hobbled out past the staff (who were watching me very curiously), out the door, across the road and then promptly vomited in the garden!

Nate came and got me and we spent the rest of the afternoon resting, instead of going to the Luxor museum, so I was pretty upset about that. Mohamed was sick and got some sleep in as well.
Later that night, we went to the train station. The streets of Luxor were a babble of noise, dust and dirt. Loud music played, women bustled around shopping, and men sat on the sidewalks smoking sheesha pipes. We knew sheesha was an arabic thing, but had no idea just how popular the whole thing was! The train was nice and late again, so we sat in the hot Egyptian night and just people watched. It was fantastic. (and we saw the good old 'bbq train' go by as well!). Then we boarded the train, and after dinner onboard I went straight to bed.

Chatting the other night about the arab world with Mohamed, I told him I knew a few Arabic words. The Egyptian boys at my work taught me a few. He was delighted and asked what they were. Basically, they taught me (I cant spell) sharmuta, which is a bad word for a male or female slut/prostitute. Well he just about fell off the chair laughing!

Day 116...Cruising the Nile - 20th October

The cruiser docked at Edfu this morning after sailing all night. We had an early breakfast (I had no appetite) and rode via horse and carriage to the temple. Edfu temple was huge and looked imposing from a distance. I felt a bit shit at times and had to sit down a bit. Apart from that though, I was fine.

Edfu temple had also been de-faced by Christians, but it had some cool tuff. There was the earliest 3D art - a cube. And it also had a nilometer. Basically, they measured the level of teh Nile floods and determined the years taxes from that level. (high = good crops and high taxes. low = bad crops, and low taxes). Pretty smart eh? Its amazing how advanced they were. When it was so bloody hot too!

This temple was for Horus as well, and the table in the inner sanctum was still there. I felt like a treasure hunter in there! There were some spots on the top columns that still ahd colour - all the temples used to be brightly painted - so it gave you a bit of an idea.
After some fun wandering, we returnede via horse and carriage. I didn't feel the best, so I slept and read all day while Nathan amused himself. There's not much to do on a boat. However, at one point we went through a loch system which he watched. The boat went into a little section, the water lowered and we were let out the other side.

We arrived at Luxor at night. Luxor used to be the capital of ancient Egypt, once called Thebes. We went with Mohamed for an explore. Via a walk through shrubs we hailed a cab and went and looked at some silver. Luxor was a bit tidier than the rest of Egypt, it almost had a Gold Coast vibe. (While still being 3rd world). We went to an internet cafe, shot off a few emails and then walked past Luxor temple all lit up at night. The wailing call to prayer was sounding off at the same time, so it was all pretty cool. "alllaaahhhhhhhhh".

I ended up with the shits as well. I've got what Nathan had in Aswan. After about 2 hours of teh shits, it went away. Must have been a delayed reaction or something. We're being super careful - no salads, brushing our teeth with bottled water etc. Still. Not fun. Runny bums never are . However, its surprising how amusing it is to the other party when it happens!

There was a belly dancer on tonight, but we didn't watch. They're usually fat anyway. Went to bed.

Day 115...Ships of the Desert - 19th October

The boat won't depart till after lunch today, so we reorganised our camel ride. We got up super early so the day wasn't hot, and caught a boat to the other side of the Nile. Our camels were there waiting for us. One camel was yowling and groaning and putting up a right fuss! Nathan laughed and pointed at me "that one's yours!" he said. And it was! I was worried and freaked out when it stood up to the accompaniment of groaning and growling and stuff. They get up with their back legs first so you nearly flip out! But gradually, we got accustomed to these 'ships of the desert' and their slow bouncy gate. I ended up being very attached to mine. Mihiliki I think his name was or something.

There are no stirrups, so my thighs killed me the next day! Nathan ended up with the shit camel - it kept trying to go back home. So they swapped. He didn't know what was going on, but I heard and warned him. Good thing too as they suddenly brought his camel down and he would have flipped out if he hadn't been ready!
As it was, the camels needed lots of cajoling. They threw straw and sand at them, and pulled and tugged. Once, Nate felt his whole camel reverberate as the Nubian guy chucked a rock at his camels ass! I saw it and couldn't stop laughing. I did like the camels. They had odd looking heads. Oh, Nathans new camel was called Rambo. We walked though hot, sandy desert. A few black rocks, but mostly lots and lots and lots of sand. In the distance some Egyptian guys were riding their camels and making them run! I would have fallen off for sure. We passed an ancient monastery, sitting folorn and alone out in the desert. It was hard to take photos when moving up and down, and I nearly stacked it off my camel when they sat it down at the end. It goes front feet first so your hips get thrust really far forward and your head starts so rock forward, before it sits back and you're safe. yay!

We came back to the boat, got changed out of our camel-y clothes and had lunch. then the boat set off. We tried to sit up on the shaded deck, but the heat was unbearable! The winds were hot and whenever your flesh creased, a stream of sweat would come out. We had to 'acclimatise' in the lounge area for a while, before heading back to our colder room. Otherwise we would have got sick. So we rested in our room till the cruiser docked at Kom Ombo temple.GOing down the Nile was eye opening. The Nile was a deep blue, bordered on each side with bright green grass and palm trees. Cows and buffalo grazed, boy swam, families bathed. The green varied in depth - the farthest still only a few dozen metres before abruptly turning into caramel sand, that was swept and piled into hills, plains and cliffs - as far as your eye could see. Just blue, a green fringe, then endless desert. I thought the desert would be further back in a way, not sitting right on the edge of the Nile.

At Kom Ombo we stepped out and saw a snake charmer! He may have wanted money for a show so we had to keep going and pretend not to see him. The temple of Kom Ombo was a similar design to Philae Temple. However a temple is usually made for one god, his wife and kid. This one was for two. Basically, people used to get munched by crocodiles here. Because they were fearful, they made a crocodile god to placate. He was a bad god though (coz he ate people) so they had to balance with a good one, so they dedicated it to Horus as well. So there was Sobek the crocodile god on the left, and Horus the falcon god on the right. It was a cool temple, with a magnificent sunset aiding the mood. It was sandy and orange, and it is hard to picture that it would have been painted with bright colours back then.

As we were going through though, I was standing and listening to Mohamed when I started to feel funny. I freaked that I might have a sudden attack of food poisoning or something and crap myself in the temple! But then I got dizzy and realised I was going to faint. I haven't fainted since I was like, 17! I must have got heatstroke or something from the camels and cruiser deck. I didn't have a headache or anything though. But I was going down nonetheless so I had to lie on my back with my legs in the air. Japanese tourists would laugh at me as they went past, as they thought I had the shits. Mohamed chastised me about not drinking enough water and I felt like a naughty child. Nate was highly amused.

It was a great temple and I didn't want to go back. So I soldiered on for a while. This temple had a calander and everything,but then I nearly carked it again! After a short lie down, we had to head back. The sunset was awesome though - we both agreed we've never seen anything like it before, except for perhaps a picture or movie. It was a glowing red orb, shimmery by heat and dust, and framed with palm trees and ruins.

We had dinner, then went to bed and slept. My thighs started hurting, which I thought was from dehydration - but ended up being from the camels! No headache at all, just that funny spell.

By the waqy : Mohamed's had such an interesting career - from birth to death and everything inbetween! One guy had an 'appointment' up on Mt Sinai. Mohamed was trying to not get him to climb it coz he was old, but the guy went up anyway. They watched the sun rise, and then when they told him it was time to go - he was dead with his eyes open. He had an appointment alright. His wife found later a letter saying that he had a date to do it up there. Amazing. The other one was a fat aussie girl who didn't realise she was 7 months pregnant. She started being sick right out in the middle of the desert and they had to stretcher her through dusty villages till they finally got a ute - and she gave birth at the door to the hospital! He's had crazy guys come on the tour and get chucked out for smashing a guy in the head with an ashtray as he slept. And been hit on by swingers - one guy spent the whole tour trying to get him to sleep with his wife!

Day 114...The long blue Nile - 18th October

haha Nathan's got the shits! We were supposed to go for a camel ride this morning but he's got 'mummy tummy'. We can't figure out what its from, as I had exactly the same thing he did, shared plates and everything and I'm fine. It ended up not being anything in particular, as it passed after 2 hours and he was fine. It must just be the change in diet.

So we rested today, watching movies in bed (man I've missed movies) and at lunchtime we boarded our cruise ship. Because its just the two of us, Mohamed pulled some strings and got us on a nicer boat, and in a nicer room. Nice one! He's worth his weight in gold this guy. I mean, he didn't have to do it but he's gone the extra yard. Our cruise ship is 5 star (but not luxury 5 star - theres a difference). Our room is huge, with our own couch and coffee table. Great to hide from the Egyptian sun. We had lunch on board, which will be buffet for the next few days. After that we hid from the sun in our room. Our cruise ship won't 'set sail' till tomorrow lunchtime.

We'd ended up doing nothing all day, so we joined Mohammed back in the Aswan bazaar during the evening while he bought some spices off the Nubians. Had dinner on the boat, and enjoyed a Nubian show after. We had a cocktail and chatted with Mohamed. I got pulled up to dance = why does this always happen to me?

Day 113...What's a nubian? -17th October

Woken up by the train conductor and given a small breakfast. While we ae, we enjoyed glimpses of the Nile as we went along. Its blue! I had read stories about it being blue, but thought it would be brown for some reason. We saw Egyptians farming with donkeys and water bufallo. It was so cool! I had my face pressed against the glass.

We arrived shrtly in Aswan (about 1-2 hours behind 'schedule'. Go Egypt!) TINA - This Is North Africa. ahha. After a quick shower at our hotel (which was done up in a weird Islamic/Vegas pink) we went on some touirs. Aswan is home to the Nubian culture. People are more African here. The Nubians were used by the pharaohs in ancient times to mine for gold. And it is only here that they got granite for the whole of Egypt. The first stop we went to was an old Egyptian quarry site. There was a perfectly shaped form of what would have been the largest obelisk ever made. But ther ewas a fault in the granite, with cracks - so it was left unfinished. You could see it almost being birthed out of the rock. You could see all the marks from previous quarrying efforts as well, and struggled to think how long ago that was. Walking around felt like walking over a kitchen bench, with sparkly grey and pink granite everywhre. I wanted to nick some for home! Guards tried to take their photo with us and ask for baksheesh, but we fobbed them off. They are pretty ok, although they try and leap in a picture - if you tell them later that you're not going to pay they say its ok and don't push.

Man, it was a hot day too! Near or in the 40's. The winds were so hot and didn't give much relief. I had a long top on and a scarf and felt pretty hot. But the long shirt helped from burns and kept me cooler than being fully in the sun.
After that, we went to the 'high dam' (past the british one on the way). It is the largest dam in the world or something. It is both good and bad. Good? It suplies power to Egypt and the UK as well. It has also controlled the height of the Nile for 'lower' egypt. Remember- although the Nile comes from the south and flows to the north - north is 'lower' and south is 'upper'. The reason of this is because of ancient times. The elevation from the south is higher, coming from Ethopia and Sudan and stuff so it is the 'upper' nile. Then it flows down into the ocean which is the 'lower' nile. Crocodiles are only in the upper Nile now, with nets at the dam to stop them from getting grilled up in the machinery and buggering it all up. The people have killed all the crocs and hippos in teh lower nile now, as they kept getting eaten by them. Mohamed said the nile crocodile is now prolific in teh upper part - he's seen them and they're huge!
The bad part of teh dam? Aswan is home to the Nubians. They existed in ancient times and the dam flooded over their villages, heritage and culture. Alot of ancient sites disappeared under the water.
It was a dam, but a dam is a dam. I got bored in 2 seconds. Luckily we didn't stay long and headed for PHilae Temple.

Philae temple was accessed by a little boat. It was flooded when the dam was built, but it was moved - brick by brick - 100 metres away to higher ground. People used to have to explore it by boat. It was our first really proper Egyptian temple and we were pretty impressed! It was in the Graeco Roman period (you can tell by the flowery design at the top of the columns - the Greeks built lots of temples to pacify the Egyptians about their take-over). Our old pal Hadrian was there too , adding some arches at the back. We are finally at the southern end of his influence! It only took about 3-4 months. What a guy! Love his work. (For those who don't remember, he did Hadrians Wall in the UK near Scotland, did work in Rome and Greece, and now here).
The way temples are done, is that they cover the stone with a plaster type stuff, then stamp the heiroglyphics in with stencils. So its not hand done. And its not chiselled in stone either. The big bodies are done by hand though. It was amazing to see the 3d effect of them, they had shaped the thighs and stomach realistically. The faces - alot of them were later defiled by Christian idiots who chipped multiple marks all over the faces. THe figures were ok. The belief was that you remove the evil by removing the face. Some 19th century grafitti was there too.

The temple was dedicated to the falcon god Horus. It had many large sanctums working their way back via large wooden doors (no longer there) to the final sanctum where the god and his statue resided. There wre heiroglyphics talking about the pharaoh, showing him giving offerings to the God and the gods family. Beer, wine, milk and roast chicken. Yum.

it was a bit like being awestuck there - tracing your hands over the markings like some Egyptian explorer movie. Indian Jones or The Mummy or something! The lights lit the place in an eerie light and I needed to don an akubra or something. I also had fun taking photos of all the Arab security who were fast asleep. SOme were fully lying down with their towels over their faces. We went during lunch, and nearly had the temple to ourselves. So perhaps the guards thought it was ok to nap then. When we got of the boat after the temple, all the tour busses where turning up.

Oh my god, and hows this?! - We returned to the hotel for a late lunch. Mohamed left us and Nathan sat by a window in the lobby and chilled out. Suddenly I heard lots of yelling and looked out to see two staff members. One ran up to the other and fully punched him in the face! A fight ensued and I was much entertained until the manager ran up to our window and shouted at them. He apologised to us and explained with Ramadan, tempers flare easily. One had insulted the others gardening. The manager dawdled off and the guys moved on. Nathan and I continued our lunch until we ehard a loud "whack!". I popped my head out the window, and saw them further up the road going at each other with sticks! They were bashing each other with sticks while some other staff smoked cigarettes and watched. They caught me looking and moved the two guys on, but I was totally amused!

In the arvo, we went for a felucca ride. A felucca is the traditional sailing boat of the Egyptians. I felt like Tatia in River God. Our sailors name was Captain Mohamed and he was quick to inform us that he was an Arab man, not a Nubian man. He was a very friendly guy, and asked if we liked music. We said sure, that's fine, expecting that "aaah aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhahhhh" wailing crap we've beeing hearing in all the Egyptian cars. Instead, on came G-unit! And black eyed peas and Snoop Dog and stuff. We did a little dance around the boat and enjoyed the view of the Nile with tombs of the nobles on the sandy cliffs ahead. We then turned around for home and... the wind just stopped.
We crawled (barely) at snails pace. I enjoyed the still waters and we took forever to pass Elephantine Island ( called that when the elephants were transported past here and they bathed at that island). We crawled along though. And crawled. It started to get dark. The call to prayer sounded. The fasting was lifted for the day. Poor Captain Mohamed started getting scratchy, and asked us if we had any water, biscuits, chocolate, anything. Unfortunately we didn't. He started losing it as there was no wind and we weren't going anywhere, and he hadn't eaten or drank all day poor bastard. Eventually we had to leap onto another boat, a motorised water taxi which took us back late to Mohamed our tour dude.

Mohamed had eated a bit so there was no rush as we made our way into the Aswan bazaar. We wandered a bit and he took us to a great seafood restaurant that we wouldn't have looked twice at. We trust him as he's taken hundreds of brits and aussies here and they don't get sick. He has to, or he can't take them on their tour can he? At the restaurant you picked your fish or prawns or whatever and they cooked it however you want. We got big bowls of complementary stuff like bread and some dips I can't remember the name. agh ach ach or something arabic. haha. I tried a date for the first time in my life. In Ramadan its used to break the fast. It was quite sweet and I'm not sure about it.

After that we wandered the souqs. We left Mohamed and realised what a great influence he is, when we got promptly bombarded by touts. "come look at my store, look look". The funny ones though was that I was beautiful, Nathan was a lucky guy and how many camels did he want for me? haha. We haggled and got a cheap long white shirt for me (I don't have many long light tops, only singlets which is a big nono. I mean, I've seen women scrambling over the ruins in hot pants and singlet! But its disrespectful, we're in someone elses country and I want to do the right thing. And even that, I'm a young western girl so I get noticed.) The haggling was hard work! They try hard, but Mohamed informed us earlier what price we could get. I'm glad he did coz I would have broken long before! The guy tried to seal the deal with a kiss so I lied and said I was married to Nate so he backed off. phew.

The place was bustling with women shopping for the end of Ramadan, men sitting by and smoking sheeshas. We joined Mohamed for a sheesha and spent a fair while together having a good laugh and smoking and watching the action go past. We also tried date juice which was really sweet and nice. After that we headed back to our hotel for bed.

Day 112...Walk Like An Egyptian - 16th Octber

We've got our room till later this evening, so we didn't have to pack up or organise anything this morning. Had a cautious inclusive breakky downstairs. Its weird now. Everything you look to put in your mouth strikes a small chord of fear. Something so natural is now really scary ('wat if its something to do with this thing that makes me sick? This glass may still have been wet when the drink was put in. The cutlery too - what about that? Can I eat this egg? No dairy, no food that can't be peeled. What about stemed veges? What if they haven't been steamed long enough? aaargh)

We met our tour guide, Mohamed downstairs. I saw him looking at us and thought it was another randy Egyptian, but then he smiled and waved and it was all good. He's a lovely guy, fairly young in his late 20-s mid 30's I think. We were also surprised to hear from him that we are the only 2 in the group! Just us and him. We asked what the smallest group he has taken - and the answer was 10! So this is rare. We were pleased tho. And kind of not, as I was looking forward to hanging in the background and causing trouble. now its one on one attention and I have to behave! hee hee.

We got in the van (the driver was waiting for us) and drove to the Pyramids. I still marvelled a their size! And coz its Ramadan, it was a quiet period - for both tourists and touts. So it felt like they were almost ours. the Great Pyramid is the pyramid of Khufu (Cheops is the other name -pronounced kee-ops). There are different names for things, as when the Greeks arrived during the Graeco roman era, they couldn't pronounce the Egyptian words. So lots of things have been morphed from there. The Great Pyramid was built for Khufu's tomb, to help him get into the sky to join the sun god Ra in his boat. Being the first one built, the physics were great, but didn't count on the immense weight. The inner roof of the tomb collapsed, crushing the remains. Mohamed asked us how the pyramids were built, and I made him laugh by replying 'aliens'. What they did was progressively pile up sand, then clear it away at the end. A pretty good effort, considering how long ago this was. And also that its so hot that all you want to do is hide under a palm tree.
The second Pyramid is calle Khafre (Chepren) and has a few 'starter' tombs, before he explained he wanted to be in the top, so he wouldn't get crushed like his father did. Menkaure (Mycerinus) is the smallest one, and has a big gash in the side from when the British used it for target practice for their cannons! Fools. (The Egyptians don't like the Brits too much either)

It was so amazing to actually stand there and touch them! To finally be doing that! And be so amazed at their size. I would have loved a good stand and stare, but Mohamed kept us moving and entertained. We took some photos and I got some laughs by walking like an Egyptian on the Great Pyramid. I also got a bit distraced by the camels!! Particularly the cops on camels. Yes. Cops on camels. We got to touch the top cover of one pyramid, which has been removed/ I would have loved to have seen the Pyramids in their original state. Not only would they have been 3m thicker on each side, but would have been white and not the sandstone colour we see today. But in the 1800's the emperor Mohamed Ali pilfered all the covering stone for his palace. He left a cap on the top of one because he didn't need it, and now you can see the difference. he was a prett destructive bastard, giving precious Egyptian presents to everyone around the globe. The obelisks we've been seeing in England and France etc, were all donated by him.

Near the great pyramid, there was a rectangular hole. An archaeologist found heaps of wood buried there. After years of work, he managed to put it all back together and assemble a funerary boat - a huge one.
It was now in a building next door and you could see a bit from the ouside. Inside cost cash and we couldn't be bothered. Next to the Pyramids were tombs for their wives. We got to ener one (but weren't allowed photos). A small rectangular building, it had a tiny slanting shaft that we had to basically climb down one at a time. Inside was just a square room, no decorations. It was extremely hot and a bunch of us got trapped in their while an old overweight woman had a bit of trouble. It was great fun being in their though, trying to imagine mummies and treasures. Once we got out - it was actually cooler outside than down in there!

Net, we walked down to the sphinx. It is actually the head of a pharaoh with the body of a lion - a god entitiy to ward off bad spirits. when the Greeks arrived, they thought it looked like one of their mythicl creatures - the Sphinx, and so thats where the name stuck. He seemd a bit smaller than expected, and was being restored which made his arms look a bit artificial. It was next to a big temple, which was used for the 70 day ritual of mummification, before being sledded by ox to the pyramids. The magnificent size (albiet without roof) and the degree of the straighness of the columns astounded us. Also their other ingenious, such as the use of windows and using the reflection of light of strategically placed marble to light up the room.

After that, Mohamed took us to a papyrius musuem. I was interested in going, since reading River God and the character wrote his scrolls on papyrus. Many places cheat and use banana leaves. Apparently you can tell if it has uneven brown patches - from the seeds of the papyrus - which means it is genuine. The place we went to was supported by the government and hunky dory. We watched them make some papyrus for us and ended up buying two pieces for hell cheap. We had a laugh (bu first tripped out) when he preended to rip us off the the tube to contain them - it was free but they said it was 1000 egyptian. hee hee) Plus they threw in a free little print. aww.

Driving to the Egyptian Museum after that, we had a quick stop for lunch. We thought most of the food places would be shut and dead during Ramadan but we got a place that did a real tasty schwerma (kinda like a hot meat and salad roll) which we ate in the car. We were to learn that the Muslims here are very religous, but don't let it really affect everyday society. They go to the mosque when they can, or go when there is someone looks after the shop. So stuff doesn't suddenly shut down. Plus there are a lot of coptic christians around too. Mohamed didn't eat anything, he's fasting for Ramadan. he's an exemplary Muslim, and taught us alot. He's about to get married to a Muslim woman who's a solicitor. He respects other cultures,loves his own and is very intelligent. He has done a study in religous theology, so knows intricately Judaism, Christianity and Islam, so is full of great info. He teaches us so much in an interesting, unbias way. He's also completing his masters in Egyptology, can read hieroglyphics and such - so i love him! Priceless guy, considering where we are.

Disappointingly, no photos are allowed inside the Egyptian Museum. Not even without flash! Argh! Mohamed showed us many fascinating things. Everything was original, except for a copy of the Rosetta stone, which is in London I think. Basically, hieroglyphics couldn't be deciphered, until they found this stone which had the same message carved in three different languanges, one of which was heiroglyphics, one was greek. So they could figure out the hieroglyphics from there.

We went through the progression of Egyptian art - from being unable to do necks (which is why you see some pharaohs with those big wigs coming down either side) to being advanced to make figures in lifelike poses - giving a rich insight into daily life. There were scribes, women working with cloth or millet etc. One period in art they thought big ears were cool. (Big changes usually occured during ech high times of prosperity - after what is called an 'intermediate period'.) There was a sculpture of the cheif of the royal wardrobe who was a dwarf , with is wife putting her arm around him affectionatly. Children in Egyptian art are shown with a thumb in the mouth and a side lock. Royalty is shown with the false beard, left leg forward and wearing the double crown of upper and lower Egypt. Hatsheptsut was one of my favourites. She was a wife of the pharaoh and when he died, took on the persona of a male, pretended to be descended from gods - and got to rule for quite a while. She also started the whole eyeliner thing that you associate with Egyptians. In the Amarna room, the art during Akhenaten's time - was greatly different to all others. Akhenaten tried to remove all the gods of the old religion - including Ra and Horus, and tried to have just one god - Aten. (Its a sun god, seen as an orb with rays). The sculpture sin here have big lips and soft bellys. Something he was a homosexual, but other theories think that he was trying to lure both male and female to his religion - one god. So to do that, he had to look asexual, so as not to alienate one sex. There was a lovely sculpture of his wife's head there too - Nefertiti. She looked very sophisticated, like one of those women you'd see in Sanctuary Cove on the gold coast or something, buying armani and stepping onto a boat. She had a small head - Egyptians were smaller back then. Also in that rom was a coffin lid of glass - GLASS. Nathan was blown away by that. Glass so long ago!
We also saw pts and jars, a toilet, and cloths. For some reason the material really struck a chord with me. Seeing that, lasting all these years felt funny.

We reached the Tutankhamun rooms. Thought to be the son of Akhenaten and Nefertiti, there are now theories that he was the younger brother. The pharaoh died young at 18, and new tests show septicemia from a cut in the bottom of his foot. Any other damage to the body was done when he was a mummy and very delicate. First, we saw the large coffins. He died young, so his tomb in the valley of the kings wasn't ornate. They had to hastily make do with a russian doll type making of several coffins, one fitting inside the other. They were beautifully made, covered in cold and images. It was cool seeing all that gold! The most popular room had all his most precious stuff. Ther ewer his smaller sarcophogi, carved in a body image, rather than the boxes that were outside. His famous golden death mask was there. After seeing all these photos of it - there it was , face to face so to speak. Fabulous. His throne was there, with the back depicting the prince being annointed with perfume by his wife, while Aten shone down. Necklaces, the canoptic jars which held his organs, and ushabti (small statues) were there too. No mummy has ever been buried with his 'people. No one has ever been killed for that. THe theory may have come from the ushabti, which are little statues representing people, to help the king in the afterlife. There was also a great sculpture of the jackal god - Anubis. He's by far my favourite. I then like Thoth, the ibis headed god of knowledge, then Sobek the crocodile god. We also saw the Yuya and Thuyu rooms, which were the best finds before Tutankhamen.

Mohamed left us for a while to explore on our own, so I forced Nate to cough up some money to stare at dead people. The mummy room was dark and cool when we entered. I got a shock at first too - they put the most ghastly one at the front door! Seqenere II, I think it was. His arms were all twisted up, his mouth half bared and a big sword hole in his head. He was almost like in a 'eeeggggh' position, and all you needed was a hidden spring to fling him upright and scare the shit out of people! NOthing like the regal portraits they have around the rest of the museum eh!
Ramses II was also there - the longest ruler and one of the most popular. One mummy was very tall. Only one did I get an impression of what his face would have looked like in life, and I think that was more eerie than the others. The others looked like NIght of the Living Dead, bad 80's corpses. THe women were the same. Two were really creepy as they had false eyes stuck in. It gave us a jump to see that! ONe lady was even buried with her mummified pet baboon (which was still wrapped up thankgod).

Maybe I was paranoid too, but it smelt a bit funny in there. I had a bit of a chuckle with Nate too - after all these glorious sculptures, and paintings - particularly the sarcophagi and death masks...underneath was a hideous little shrivelled dead thing. ew.

Fully pleased, we left back for the hotel.(Via a failed shopping incident for demure shirts). We rested in our hotel room before we had to pack up and be downstairs for our 7.30pm train. The station was busy with men in robes, guards with guns and people dashing everywhere. Egypt has a smell of dust, heat, spices and the scent of strange sweat from spicy food. We saw the 'bbq' train go past. It was going the same route as our train, but takes 24 hours and is packed full of people (and animals) in the hot hot sun. I almost wanted to go on that one for entertainment, but it would have been hell.
Our train was 15 minutes late (which wasn't too bad according to Mohamed), things aren't to punctual here. Nate and I had a little sleeper cabin. We had dinner on the train. Then our chairs turned into a single bed, with second bunk bed on top. With Nates nocturnal activities, we thought it best I sleep up top. It was snug up ther, and though I was woken a few times I was soothed by the rocking of the train and went back to sleep quickly.

Day 111...Oh my GOD - Egypt! - 15th October

Got up pretty early and ate at the hostel again. For 5 euro you get eggs, toast, jam, coffee etc. Good deal when a cofee in Plaka is nearly 5 bucks alone! The hostel waitress is funny. She has the same line as she doesn't know much english 'can you pay me please?' and its funny watching people look slightly disgruntled at that. The hostel also has a book exchange, so we are so relieved to dump our books and get a whole bunch of new ones for no cost. phew!

We packed up and legged it to the train station and caught the trainto the airport. Got there in good tie and were able to make some calls home before boarding our Egypt Air Flight. Some people we called got a call from us - but they didn't know it! The connection was really odd, so they answered but couldn't hear us. Oh well. So anyone who got a blank call that night - hallooo!

Flying into Egypt - I was struck by how Cairo really is just plonked amongst sand! I thought it would be desert, then a gradual thing of stones and a bit of tree or something. But no. No rocks, no shrub, just sand. Even the Nevada desert had shrubs. Here it was just miles and miles of creamy caramel sand.
We landed and were met by our company rep (temptation tours) where we bought our visa to get into Egypt. On the way out to the van I got a 'yo America! wassuuuup!' pick up line from a young Arab guy, even though I had a jacket on.

As Nathan puts it well - arriving in Egypt was like arriving into chaos. My eyes were the size of saucers and I was completely fascinated. (All nate says is that he doesn't rate the 3rd world). It was the time of Ramadan and the highway was choked with hot tempered Muslims trying to get home to eat and drink something. Not eating during daylight hours is bad - but not even a sip of water? And in such hot weather too. Cairo has a population of 19 million - thats nearly Australia in one city! And they are also the fastest growing city in the world, in terms of urban migration.

There were cars and bikes zigzagging crazily, people and donkeys all over the highway. Men in dishadashas sitting on cars laden with crops, wacking the crap out of the little donkeys pulling frantically. Women in burkhas. Sandy, dirty sprawls of apartment blocks, with palm and date trees dotted here and there. The occassional empty block was bright green and being plowed by buffalo or donkeys. Sitting in the car, I got many stares by men in other cars and was sweating it out in a hot black jacket (i didn't have a long shirt on me at the time), and tried to look demure. There were many high fences, upon which perched little huts each containing a guy with a massive gun. The horns were an absolute cachoph0ny.

At one point, we passed a rear ender accident. There was a crowd of Egyptians yelling and gesticulating at one guy (who I took to be the rear driver). One started smashing him in the face over and over again, back against the chainlink fence!! Then he continued to verbalise his argument and gesticulations while the victim clutched his face.

We weaved through traffic, clutching onto what we could - although our driver was better than most. Then suddenly we lurched forward as our driver slammed on the brakes! A couple of cars ahead, a truck had collectd a car and they both were scrapign down the concrete divider with a massive roar - smoke and radiation fluid exploding everywhere. I didn't think things could get mor chaotic, but before the two could even come to a stop, about 50 Egyptians appeared from nowhere began pelting across the highway. (Ignoring the traffic still coming full steam ahead at them). They all ran to the sight and began yelling and flinging their hands everywhere. The drivers side was crushed (Egypt drives on the right side of the road) and I thought we'd see a mangled mess . But as we rolled cautiously passed, the driver crawled out, his arms in a victory sign before being swamped by crowd, and getting stuck into the fun of yelling and flinging hands. I am sure it would have degenerated into fisticuffs, but we were off and driving past by then.

We drove towards the neighbourhood of Giza, where suddenly through the haze - loomed the Pyramids! we were surprised at how close they were to the city. And I couldn't get over the size! Photo's can't capture how imposing they are. The Statue of LIberty struck me as smaller than I expected. The pyramids seemed a good 3rd to twice the size I thought they would be.

Ginza had lots of dirty, dusty, busy roads. We saw water buffalo being pulled behind a cart piled with what looked like water reeds. I couldn't get over the number of little donkeys everywhere - being ridden by men in white robes and little hats, standing folornly in fields, pulling carts, tethered by the road. There was rubbish everywhere too - some in absolutely massive piles. We arrived at our hotel (complete with bomb detector at the door) and checked in. Our room was tired and sad looking, but had a big creaky double bed, TV and the best? A view of two of the Pyramids! (the baby one was hidden at the back). I looked out the window and down at the street - to see a little donkey pulling a cart frantically. Every few seconds the guy riding it would smack it on the ass with a bit of rope that even I could hear, several stories up. They aren't big on the animal cruetly issue here in Egypt).

Nathan had spoken with our tour leader Mohamed, and he said it was a bit crazy out there at the moment. Cairo doesn't really have a 'tourist' district, or highlight of places to go. For a place that has the pyramids and such a large number of tourists, we were surprised at the lack of ...well...anything. So we decided to stay at the hotel (Kaoud Pyramid Hotel). We had a quick look at the Pyramids from the rooftop. There was some kind of party going on there with oud music and no drinks - remember this is Ramadan. Ladies in near full garb were sitting looking at me unopprovingly.
We had dinner downstairs and ate some rice and meat dishes. We declined the 'set menu' as all we got from the girl was that it was "meat, sweet, salad". hmmm. After that we relaxed in the room, watched some TV and went to bed.